Self-talk

2021 - Current

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Acrylic marker, color pencil, oil pastel, gouache, water-soluble oil pastel on paper. 7 x 10" 

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The improvised paintings presented here are a recording of a conversation with myself. They involve a monologue, but one that maintains a distance from me and constantly asks and answers questions that I pose to myself. The answering process is expressed through the motion of my hand and my decisions on the stroke, material, shape, and color used for each segment of my drawing. It is like playing a never-ending game of ping-pong, where being present at the moment is the key to winning, but losing is also okay since it is a game with myself.

Once I complete filling out the entire paper, I feel a sense of release and liberation, as if all my worries, anxieties, and stress are buried underneath my paintings, and I shed a layer of myself.
Through this process, I am creating a new perception of distance between myself and another version of myself that exists in another dimension or universe.

This process is also a meditative practice of personal self-affirmation that provides me with confidence and a sense of achievement.